Thursday, 23 February 2012

Rehab: No, No, No

Never has Amy Winehouse's song Rehab been more appropriate:

It is exactly two years to the day since they tried to make me go to rehab, and I said no, no, no. But then I said yes - and went here / here. I nearly went here but this place was desperate - did everything they could to get me through the door, and their aggressive, strict approach soon put me right off - I appreciate that what they had to offer might work/suit others but it wasn't for me, and I know a lot of other people who have had problems with them too. 

I must add that these places are not full of celebrities enjoying a holiday camp for a few days - sadly its has this reputation but let me tell you right now that it was intense, difficult work and the other people I was with are some of the bravest and most genuine people I have ever met, and we are all close friends to this day. Whoever said this was "a holiday" clearly has never been there themselves. I've read other blogs where people have said they live down the road from places like The P in Knaphill of Chelmsford and they could "hear the patients screaming" - it was not like that either. Ever. 

Its was a complicated sequence of events that happened over the course of a few weeks in Jan/Feb 2010 - and I remember every detail of it as though it all happened earlier today. I will one day copy and paste it here for you to read from the documents I have already written about it all - but not yet. 

A lot has happened and changed since then - in a good way. It obviously was not a period of time in my life that I think fondly of - it was emotional and everything was an uphill struggle - so therefore, why is it so clear in my mind and hard to forget? A friend of mine says we can't ever forget times like this as they make us who we are today - and she is absolutely right.

Tomorrow, I will give you some idea of who helped and got me to the better place that I am at today - be prepared, its a long list of names!


  1. I remember it well. It was the day after we were on TV. Love you, Miranda

  2. It was the hardest time in my whole life but to this day I am thankful for all the people that helped me and that it happened as without it I wouldn't be here today. Even if some days are still a struggle I am living them.

    1. Cathie - you are amazing. Its so ironic that something can be the hardest thing in the world but also the best thing... where would we be without it? Everyone who is P FINE is just the best xxxx

  3. I am so proud of you for what you have achieved and I hope you are proud of yourself too. It was the darkest time of my life but the treatment I had and the special friends I made, also made it ironically one of the better times of my life. I am so grateful to you for being part of that. Xxx

  4. One of the most helpful and beneficial things about it was being surrounded by such amazing people who understood and empathised. Thank YOU Louisa for being there too xxxx